Ever felt like letting your emotions out, express what you’re feeling, how you’re feeling, what you’re going through, or maybe cry a little just to feel better but unfortunately, you’re unable to no matter how hard you try and you end up feeling much worse and suffocated like someone’s choking you down?
That is exactly what I and many other men like me went through and some are still going through as they’re taught to suppress their emotions since childhood no matter what and they end up being a victim of so-called ‘toxic masculinity’.
“Man up”, “you’re a man behave like one”, “real men never quit” and so on, men have never gotten tired of hearing such phrases as far as they can remember and they realize the toxicity of such phrases when these noxious teachings are put to the test during their teenage years and adult life.
Most of the men can’t withstand it yet they learn to suppress their emotions. And that’s how they reach a doorway to multitudinous mental health problems like depression, anxiety, or even panic attacks
Instead of being empathized or sympathized, most men are mocked for expressing their emotions and that’s what makes them even weaker mentally and emotionally and when you’re weak from within you end up becoming weak physically too.
My Experience With Toxic Masculinity.
I remember I was crying years ago because I wasn’t taken to the vacation and my grandma mocked me saying “Aye Stop! Men don’t cry even in funerals so better behave like one!”.
How come hiding your emotions makes you strong? How come not crying to feel better makes you strong? No matter what gender you are if you can’t let your emotions out in form of words, tears, or anything you’re the weakest person.
From Where Does Toxic Masculinity Originate?
We’ve all heard the phrase “you learn from what you see in your surroundings” and society puts men above all just like a superhuman who can resist any kind of physical, emotional pain. Toxic masculinity originates from the family but if we dig more deeply into it we find that it’s actually because of the peer pressure of the society which family faces. From what I can perceive is that the family is worried about their reputation and afraid of being judged like what will society say if their son is emotionally expressive and is not interested in being part of the situation where he has to prove his manliness. Also, we’re under a big peer pressure to stand up to society’s made up level of masculinity or manliness. This thinking sooner or later affects every man and they end up becoming a victim of toxic masculinity.
How We Can Put An End To This “Manly Stigma”?
So, this one is easier said than done but remember this Sanskrit shloka,
“कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन ।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भुर्मा ते संगोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ॥ ”
“Do the duty without concerning about the result.”
We have to take a step forward from our end only that’s when others will follow. We all need to break this “manly” stigma. It’s not one person’s task, we all have to take the initiative and rise together. So, be a man enough to express what you feel, let your emotions out, and cry whenever you feel like it without caring about what others will think, what society will say, and so on. Your peace of mind must be your top-most priority. People are going to speak anyways, we cannot shut everyone’s mouth instead we can adapt ourselves in such a way that we learn to not care about other’s opinions instead spend all that energy working on ourselves.
But hold on, being overly emotional isn’t good either because it can make us frail at times. We need to maintain the balance. Balance is the key. And lastly, I would like to correct the most popular phrase i.e., “Real men never quit”. This statement is a falsity as “Real men know when to quit”.
